Positive Parenting: Helping your child to prepare for the start of primary school

STARTING primary school is a big experience and a big change for children. It is a stage in life that brings many big emotions for both children and parents.

These may include excitement, worry, fear, happiness and loneliness. Most will feel a mixture of all of the above. Many children start primary school with enthusiasm and confidence while others find the big change stressful and a little bit more daunting.

They may need more support and scaffolding but their stress can largely be managed with good preparation, clear communication and consistent routines. Good planning helps create a smooth transition and creates a positive experience associated with school for the child.

A successful transition into primary school helps reduce school anxiety and builds on their experience of success. Strategies which ease the transition include open and clear communication; familiar routines; play; getting to know the school; and acknowledging the differences in the modern school system.

Open communication between the parent, the pre-school, and the primary school is an important part of planning and preparation. Many pre-school’s have a transition policy, and asking about this can be helpful. Seeking advice from pre-school teachers is also recommended - the preschool may already have links with the primary school and can help with preparation.

Collaborating with preschool in sharing information to help the primary school in getting to know your child, particularly if they have additional needs, can ease anxiety around the transition. Asking the new junior infants teacher about the skills or tasks your child will need for a successful day is a useful way to prepare and increase both the child and the parent’s confidence about the change. These could be skills such as self-feeding, independent dressing, toileting or keeping track of their belongings. It is important to note here that every child is different. Children with complex needs will need more support and time to develop some of these skills over time. Speak positively about school and the experience that they are going to have with your child.

Helping your child get used to the new routine before term begins can build their sense of security. Try following the new routines a few weeks before starting school; such as setting a regular bedtime and waking up routine, practising morning routines, and familiarising your child with the walk or drive to the new school. The summer months are a good time to begin to reduce your child’s screen time to less than one hour per day. From a practical point of view, make sure your child is familiar with and has tried on their new school uniform a number of times before the big day. Involve them in picking out their own school bag and lunchbox, along with their pencil case and other stationary required. Make sure they are comfortable opening and closing and managing all these.

Creating time and space to play with your child is both a useful and insightful way to help them prepare for school. Spending quality time playing with your child will help to ensure they experience a good enough connection every day. Fostering a good connection with their parent allows children to transition more easily as their emotional needs have been fulfilled and their fears around separation reduce. It is recommended to have 10 minutes a day of connected and mindful child-lead play, allowing the child to choose the topic and decide how the play is carried out.

Getting to know the school will not only ease the transition but also make any potential future issues easier to deal with.

Understand that different schools will have different approaches around transitions. Attend school information sessions where possible and avail of opportunities to bring your child into the school. Write down questions you have and contact the primary school with your queries. Connect with families already attending the school or from your child’s preschool who may be going to the same school. Become familiar with the school routine, for example, knowing where the child’s class is located and the break/lunch times.

Finally, understanding the differences between how schools work today, compared to how we experienced them ourselves is important. Schools aim to be a positive environment for children and facilitate transitions or challenges through interactive and creative learning, play time/Aistear and regular movement breaks throughout the day.

If you want more information about this topic, the Primary Care Child and Family Psychology Service are running a free online webinar entitled Starting Primary School: helping your child to prepare on Thursday, June 20 from 10.00 – 11.30am. To register contact the Primary Care Psychology team on 061-483692.

This article was contributed by the Primacy Care Child and Family Psychology Service, a member of Parenting Limerick. Parenting Limerick is a network of parenting and family support organisations. For more information on this and other topics go to www.loveparenting.ie.