Zumba, rock'n'roll, Elvis and more ... at Co Board gathering

Athy GAA Headquarters was the venue for last Tuesday evening's June County Board gathering.
And it was a meeting like no other.

In all the years we have been covering these once monthly events whether at St Conleth's Park or in any of the many and varied venues in recent times, this one takes the biscuit.

Incredible or what?

You might not believe this but next door to where the grassroots of Kildare GAA were gathering, was what we were reliably informed, was a weekly Zumba class.

Needless to say Zumba and me have never crossed paths before.

And to be honest, I hope we don't ever again.

Just as Colm Farrell (standing in for chairman Mick Gorman, unavailable, if memory serves me correct, for the first time in his near five-year term) introduced Syl Merrins who was giving the meeting an update of how a committee (Demographics) he is chairing is progressing.

Set up to look into everything within the county from population growth/ decline; club facilities, school facilities, and much, much more besides. That particular committee of seven includes Padraig Nolan, Brendan Hackett, Joan O'Flynn, Bryan Murphy, Aishling Holton and Jim Hanafin.

Just as Syl was about to make his address so did the Zumba class.

Crash. Bang. Clatter.

Syl did his best but to be honest his address was more or less lost as the din got louder and louder and even the use of a 'mike' did little to enhance his words.

However Syl was fortunate as once he finished his contribution he left the premises faster than you-know-what through a goose.

Unfortunately, and why I just cannot fathom, the rest of the meeting went ahead as scheduled with those speaking on various topics attempting to over-ride the 'music' from next door.

There was only one winner in this contest.

And it wasn't the county board gathering.

If no one on the top table felt it right to halt proceedings, one would have thought a delegate or two might have felt it incumbent on them to propose a postponement.

But club delegates of today, apart from possibly half-a-dozen or so, rarely speak, rarely question, rarely enquire, rarely query, just sign the register and do what is expected of them, rubber-stamp most of what is proposed.

God be with the days when we had a bit of debate, a bit of discussion, even a row.

But those days are long gone. Unfortunately.

As the music blared on Money Man, Alan Dunney gave an up-date on the financial position for the first six months of the year.
Total income, as best we could hear, came in at €774,570 which was some €75k below budget; expenditure was €928; leaving a deficit of €153k; all of that the Hon Treas said was €20k ahead of budget.

Any questions?

None.

However a man, one of the few never shy to throw-in his tuppence worth, John Flood of Rathcoffey, enquired about the Race Day held in Punchestown. Mr Flood said that he saw very few players in attendance, very few board officials and overall was not that well supported.

Vice-Chair Colm Farrell replied that the Race Day has not been the success that it was hoped to be citing the fund-raising lunch held in January in Lawlor's Hotel, Naas, seemed to be affecting the Race Day.

That Lunch incidentally is the brainchild of Dermot Reilly and while he (Dermot) does get help from a small committee it is Dermot's gig — and a very successful gig at that.

Richie Cully (Carbury) asked how much the Race Day actually made and was informed by Alan Dunney between €20-25k, “but not all the money is in it.”

At this stage the 'din' from next door abated. Brilliant.

But not for long as the next blast came from one Chubby Checker.
Chubby feckin' Checker.

Not sure if it was 'The Twist' if it was 'The Fly' or if it was 'Limbo Rock' but it was definitely rock'n'roll, the likes of which we have never heard before at a county board gathering.

Various other nuggets of info were revealed; progress at St Conleth's Park; the extended roof on the stand in Hawkfield nearly completed while a new (or first) PA System is also being installed (no mention of the fact that came about after representations from the local media).

Clogherinkoe delegate Jimmy Kelly back on home ground in Athy, pleaded that the upcoming Tailteann Cup quarter-final be not played in Hawkfield.

Mr Kelly said that Hawkfield is not fit for such a game due to safety concerns; no transport; no footpaths, etc.
He was supported by John Flood, who initially wondered why he is one of the very few delegates to speak from the floor at these meetings, before agreeing that Hawkfield was not a suitable venue.

The Vice-Chair said the game was played there at the request of the team management but the quarter-final would not be in Hawkfield, where it will be will be played will be decided after the quarter-final draw.

Mr Flood, then suggested it was time “to sit down and have a proper open discussion and debate on the state of where we are, football-wise in Kildare.”

Maybe that comment was not heard over the noise but there was no take-up on the request.

A moment of bliss followed.

Chubby left the next door stage but before we could become accustomed to the sound of near silence, we were off again.

You couldn't make this one up.

But next up was The King himself.

Yes.

Elvis Presley.

Definitely easier on the ear but still causing a disturbance at an important GAA meeting.

Time was moving on but before we knew it Elvis left the building, the great one doing just a one song gig.

However as the Irish Officer was attempting to report on his area of responsibility, next up was, you couldn't believe it, a blast that sounded very like a bit of a Comhaltas session.

Now we were sucking diesel.

Meanwhile Sarsfields delegate, Seamus O'Neill, asked for guidance from the top table as regards whether it is board policy that players playing in the senior league pay an entrance fee.

Was my hearing totally gone or was I actually hearing that players were being asked to pay to play for their club?
Seemingly some clubs ask their players to pay; some ask visiting players to play, others don't.

Have to say I was a bit stunned to hear this; in fact I was actually shocked.

An advert on radio instantly came to mind.

You know the one.

This lad arrives at an entrance to where a gig was about to take place, and as tries to enter he is asked for his ticket.

“I don't have a ticket” he replies.

“I cant' let you in without a ticket” a lady informs him.

“But I'm the gig” he replied.

“I'm the act.”

I can't let you in without a ticket the lady at the desk says again.
“Are you asking me to pay-in to hear meself?” he says.

Not sure how that one fared out but asking players to pay a fiver for a game they are playing in seems absolutely outlandish.

The advice from the top table was “it's up to each individual club.”
Hardly a surprise.

The meeting comes to an end.

Remarkable the racket next door also comes to an end.

Not sure where the next gathering of club officials is scheduled to be held but hopefully someone checks out to see if there is a Zumba class booked in; if Chubby Checker is due to rock'n'roll, if The King himself will perform or even if a bit of a Comhaltas Ceolteóirí Éireann session is planned.

The GAA, an organisation like no other and that's for sure, but you couldn't make this one up!