Open letter to Santa from his no 1 Kildare fan

Dear Santa,

How are things?
It's been a while.
All well up in your neck of the woods?
Suppose Herself is as busy as ever.
Preparing the grub for the big day no doubt.
While ensuring everything is packed up and ready for you to hit the skies.
Hard to believe another year is all but done and dusted.
What's that I hear you say?
Did St Conleth's Park get up and running yet?
Holy God Santa I thought you'd be up to speed on that one.
Soon after we sent The Royals home with their tails between their legs back in the last game of the League in March the demolishers cum builders moved in and before you could say crash, bang wallop the stand was nothing but a hape o' sh--, sorry, rubble.
It was a sight for sore eyes I can tell you that.
No tears shed though and that's for sure.
As you know down the years we have traveled to every county in the land (including the occupied ... sorry the six counties) and nothing compared with it; even up north; long since improved though (amazing what the King's shillings can do).
Not alone was there no wi-fi in Conleth's Santa but, to be honest, the place was an embarrassment.
But that day back in March was a bit special I have to say.
Not because it was the last game there but, would you believe, there was a bit of a show put on.
Not sure if the best part of the day was a rousing rendition of Amhrán na bhFiann by the local gospel choir; The Lilies getting a vital win or looking at yur man O'Rourke walking off with a feasóg on him that looked like he was after having a serious disagreement with a wasp!
Mighty day.
But things didn't get much better for the rest of the year I can tell you Santa.
We met The Dubs in the league, and lost by one; the Leinster semi-final lost again, just two points in it in the end, but it really felt like a game we could have, might have, shud had won but then again that is a feeling we all know too well in Lilywhiteland.
We sneaked into the All-Ireland Series in thirteenth spot.
It's all changed you see Santa.
Only the top sixteen counties now play in it; a bit complicated I can tell you that, but any way we got in, mainly due to that win over The Royals.
And would you believe O'Rourke's crew did not make it in.
No coding' you.
They played in Tailteann Cup.
I told you about that last year.
It's a kind of competition for counties outside the top sixteen.
And would you believe The Royals went on to win it.
No sneering now Santa.
What's that auld saying.
There go I but for the Grace of God!
Or something or other like that.
Anyways The Lilies were in a group with Dublin (again), Roscommon and Sligo.
We got a nine point mauling from The Dubs; a somewhat fortunate draw against Sligo while we got the better of Davy Burke's (remember Davy!) Rossies to make it to the preliminary quarter-final where Monaghan got the better of us by a bloody point.
Yes, another case of what might have been, could have been, etc. etc.
Somethings never change.
So that was that.
Still there was a bit of good news.
We got to the Leinster U20 final and would you believe, bate The Dubs, albeit after extra time but bate them we did.
And it gets better Santa.
Bet Down in the All-Ireland semi-final before taking out Sligo in the final.
An All-Ireland title.
A second title at this grade in five years.
So definitely a bit of positivity.
And the minor footballers also got to the Leinster decider but ...
Ye, you guessed right.
The Dubs again.
And this time they (Dublin) made no mistake winning with a bit in hand.
So you see Santa lots of disappointments.
But with a bit of positivity also.
But wait now Santa a minute.
Our Ladies were top notch.
And that's putting it mildly.
League winners.
Gained promotion.
Leinster final winners.
All-Ireland winners.
How's about that for you then.
Brilliant, I can hear you say.
The hurlers I'm afraid were a major disappointment, especially after promising so much early on making it to Division 2A final.
But they then hit a losing streak that went all the way to them losing their place in the McDonagh Cup — although they did retain Division 2A status.
So maybe a bit of light in that at least.
But you know Santa the real bonus, and I mean real bonus, came when the county boys and girls returned to wearing their club colours.
And who came out on top in the club scene?
Hardly a surprise.
Naas made it three titles in-a-row.
A mighty achievement.
Their hurlers, no surprise here either, made it five senior titles on the trot.
And what about the rest of the club action?
I was hoping you'd ask me that Santa.
Allenwood captured the intermediate title in football.
A bit of an embarrassment here I have to say Santa.
And yes, I can hear you say you thought I didn't do embarrassments.
But I have to hold me hand up here I'm afraid.
Don't think I fancied The Blues to win many games, early on, at least.
But win they did, and in style.
And it didn't stop there.
What did they go and do then?
Won Leinster.
Yes Leinster.
Incredible stuff.
That young Doyle (Johnny) lad is some prospect I can tell you.
And an All-Ireland semi to look forward to in a couple of weeks.
I can hear you asking what about the Junior grade.
Well, the lads from Milltown were always one of the fancied sides here and they did not disappoint, took the title in some style.
And, just like Allenwood, their season did not end there.
Are you sitting down there now Santa?
I have to tell you Milltown made it a provincial double.
Yes, Leinster champions.
And don't rule out an All-Ireland either. They, like Allenwood, are in action in a couple of weeks.
Best of luck to both.
So two provincial club titles and they in the same parish, a few kilometres apart.
Sure you couldn't make it up.
And you know we very nearly made it a treble.
Naas footballers got it to the club senior final; took on the Dub champions Kilmacud Crokes (again) and hand on heart have to say they (Naas) came as close to causing an upset as you could get.
Talking about leaving it behind them. So disappointing.
While their hurlers also gave it a fair rattle to reach the semi.
We'll leave it at that.
Say no more.
I'd say they are still feelin' the pain!
What's that I hear you say Santa?
What about next season?
Well, I presume you know we have a new 'home' for 2024.
Well at least the footballers have.
Cullen Park in Carlow.
What, Dr Cullen Park?
Yep, with Conleth's out of commission until, back hopefully next October, we are heading down to Netwatch Cullen Park for our four 'home' games.
You know yur man McConnon is the new boss there now.
Yes, the same lad that was Ger's (McNally) side-kick on Kfm and of course a top inter-county defender and a stalward in the black and amber of Towers.
He moved to Carlow.
I don't think Clem could afford him anymore on Kfm.
Them Carlovians I hear don't come cheap, especially ones that are Lilywhites dressed up as Carlovians, but sure anyway, the bauld Peter will be 'hosting' us throughout the league.
A vital year around the corner for Glenn and the boys, this being their third season in charge.
Have a few new faces in the background, word is they are making a big impression.
A fella by the name of Nally.
Colm Nally.
He has the fancy title of Head Coach.
Has a solid reputation.
That will be put to the test in 2024 I can tell ye.
An auld friend of yours is also on board.
Roli.
There's only one.
While the former All-Star, Brian Lacey now has a selector tacked on to his video analysis tag.
Big season.
League vital.
Need to get out of Division 2.
But only in the right direction.
Hurlers have a new boss.
Brian Dowling.
So have the camogiers.
Mike Wall.
Another 'Cat.'
Big year for one and all.
Anyway.
You're a busy man Santa.
Will let you go.
Best of luck.

Fógra I: Any influence you have you might remember us in 2024, God knows we could do with a few breaks.

Fógra II: It might be a bit early for you but I'll try to get you an invite for the opening of St Conleth's Park come October.

Tommy C