The horror of making the house brochure-perfect for the estate agent - It's Just A Phase

We're selling up in Newbridge, but first we have to make the house look spotless and child-free for the brochure photos!

The horror of making the house brochure-perfect for the estate agent - It's Just A Phase

We might be going - but the Minions stickers will stay

At some stage this week, our beloved house in Newbridge will be going on the market. We’re selling up. Very exciting, I hear you say. Kind off.

However, right now though I’m very much so concerned about how the hell I’m going to keep it clean for, firstly, the estate agent pictures and secondly, for viewings.

Last weekend, myself, Daddy Chambers and Nanny Chambers went hell for leather at the house. Windows were washed, cobwebs were removed and the outside was powerhosed to be damned. When we were finished on Sunday I actually wanted to keep the place rather than put it up for sale.

Then, enter Aidan and Sarah and literally five minutes after they came home it actually felt like all our hard work was undone. Sure what’s the point cleaning a house when you have a three and a four-year old who come in like little whirlwinds and wreck the place?

So tomorrow, the estate agent’s photographer is coming to take pictures of the place. I think I’ll manage to have it back in some sort of order for that. However, if you are house hunting in Newbridge and happen to come and view our place, I apologise in advance.

You may have some questions and I have a fair enough idea of what they will be so I’ll save you some time now!

Yes, that mound of hard brown stuff all over the dining room table is, in fact, dried in Weetabix. If you are a parent you will totally understand. If you aren’t than please realise that said breakfast cereal is the bane of most parent’s lives. What’s worse, if you happen to have an oak dining table, like us, then it blends in. By the time you notice it, it’s stuck on and I mean VERY stuck on. I try, I really try to catch it on time but when I’m running out the door in the mornings I sometimes forget. So please, please look past the crusty table top!

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I clean my toilets very regularly and I always flush when I use them. However the kids don’t. So if you happen to see a floater just assume I was again rushing out the door to work when one of the kids had a call of nature and went in by themselves. So please look beyond that too!

I would love to have everything in the house just right but sometimes Aidan and Sarah just won’t allow it. The Minions stickers stuck on the glass of the book cabinet aren’t really my style. I attempted to take them off over the weekend but Aidan freaked at the mere mention of it so I had to leave them on. Look beyond that too and keep in mind we will be bringing said cabinet with us anyway. Well, unless you really love the Minions stickers, in that case you can keep it!

Also, can you please ignore the Christmas cushions on the kids’ beds. I’ve tried to tell them it’s April and put them away but they are having none of it!

The fridge in the kitchen is included in the sale but the artwork attached to it with broken magnets is not. To you it may look like scribbles and bits of tinfoil stuck on paper but to us they are priceless so get your eyes off them!

Also just turn a blind eye to the laundry baskets. Yes, there are two and I try oh so hard to empty but that seems to be an impossible task. If they are over-spilling and unsightly, just remember they also won’t be there if and when you buy the gaff!

On a positve note, it’s a great little place to live. The neighbours either side of us are absolutely lovely and you’ll have zero issues with them. There’s a real sense of community in Ailesbury Park. The place is home to a great mix of young and old, families, retired couples, single folk, all of them decent. That I can absolutely promise you.

You may find a different house in Newbridge that doesn’t have Weetabix welded on to the dining room table or another one without little finger prints all over the windows but you won’t find a nicer area to live.

Yes, I’m biased but I’ve wrote about Ailesbury Park in this column before and I have only ever had positive things to say about it. And I meant them too.

But, hey don’t just take my word for it, come and have a look! I’m sure you’ll be able to find the ad online at some stage this week but if not Kelly Hudson Properties are the ones in charge of showing off the house with the deadly artwork on the fridge!

You can contact me on; Twitter - @_itsjustaphase_; Instagram - @itsjustaphaseblog, or you’ll find more of my musings at

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