Woman’s garda ex stalked her ‘like an animal’, Kildare court told

A woman said in her victim impact statement to Naas District Court that her ex-partner, who is a suspended member of An Garda Síochána, stalked her 'like an animal.'

Judge Desmond Zaidan read out her statement before the court during an in-camera (in private) hearing, which took place at the courthouse on Thursday, December 7 last.

The case previously appeared before the court earlier this year, where Garda Sergeant Brian Jacob told Judge Zaidan that the defendant has been suspended, and that a senior garda officer has been appointed to investigate the incident.

On the latest date, it was heard that the man is stationed outside of County Kildare.

Although defending solicitor David Powderly said at the time that the offences were being contested by his client, on the latest date, the man pleaded guilty to abusing his ex-partner.

A garda who was sworn in told Judge Zaidan that the man and his ex-partner had been engaged in 'a toxic, turbulent relationship.'

"Do you know how many times I have heard that word, toxic, this week? Several times."

He jokingly added: "You know who’s to blame for that? Ms Spears," referring to singer Britney Spears and her song 'Toxic.'

The garda further said that shortly after the break-up, the woman sought a protection order against her ex-partner, which was granted to her.

However, it was heard that sometime later, the former couple had dinner together, and the man was under the impression that he and his former partner could potentially get back together.

The court was then told that on a date last year, the woman had gone to dinner with a platonic male friend.

The man found out about this outing, and in a moment of jealousy, angrily confronted them, constituting a breach of the protection order.

It was heard that the man has no previous convictions.

"HE ABUSED HIS PRIVILEGE AS A GARDA"

Judge Zaidan was handed a copy of her victim impact statement, in which the woman said: "He stalked me like an animal. He tried to get me to outside with him, and when we left, he took down the registration plate of my friend’s car.

"He abused his privilege as a garda."

The woman further said in her statement that she now sleeps with the lights on and in the company of her child, and has withdrawn from social gatherings.

"I have very dark days; I have felt that he has ruined my life," she said: "He has physically and mentally scarred me. I want to be me again."

She also said that she was concerned that the man’s behaviour towards her could influence his own son to treat women in a similar manner, and said that she feared for the safety of other women he may date.

When the prosecuting garda was cross-examined by the man’s solicitor (a new solicitor appeared on the latest date), the garda said that the man cooperated fully with the garda investigation.

The garda also explained that while allegations were also made by the man against his ex-partner, ultimately, he was the only one charged, following directions issued by the Director of Public prosecutions.

Speaking about his client, the man’s solicitor told the judge: "Anyone who was looking in on the relationship could tell that it was an unhealthy one, and they should have ended it.

"He believed (on the night of the incident), in his mind, that they could continue on together."

The solicitor added: "It was idiotic, and a scary loss of control, but he is apologetic to her."

He also handed in two letters to the judge: one from the man, as well as from a friend of the man.

In addition, he said that his client is now in a relationship with a new woman, and has a positive relationship with the mother of his child.

"I AM THE ONLY PERSON TO BLAME FOR IT"

Judge Zaidan then read out the man’s letter, which went as follows: "I apologise for my actions. I am guilty of breaching the protection order and I am the only person to blame for it.

"It has been a very tough year for me, and for her, and again, that’s all on me."

He continued: "She (his ex-partner) is a very nice person, and an excellent mother.

"I stupidly thought that I could fix something that was beyond repair, but neither of us were happy (while in the relationship).

"I have a new partner now, and I can see now what a happy relationship is.

"I am so lucky to have a few friends who helped me and my son; my son is one of the main reasons I have survived this year."

Commenting on status of his job as a garda, the man said in his letter: "The suspension has taken a huge toll on me. I worked hard over the years, and had wanted to be a garda since I was a child.

"Eventually, I got to live that dream, but because of my stupidity, that is now at risk.

"It is hard to explain the mental torture (over the past year). I entered a dark place at times."

"I am extremely sorry to her (his ex-partner), my family, my friends, my son and my garda colleagues, and I will do anything to make amends," he concluded.

The man’s solicitor told Judge Zaidan that his client's letter showed that he 'accepts responsibility for his actions.'

PRAISE FOR 'POWERFUL SENTENCES'

Judge Zaidan said that he would put the case back for 'restorative justice, in order for him to understand the negative impact he has had on his ex-girlfriend, under the supervision of the probation team.'

He also said that the woman’s comments about her fears for other women and her concern that the man’s son could adopt his behaviour in adulthood struck him, calling them 'powerful sentences.'

A probation officer present in the court suggested that he could enter into the Men Ending Domestic Violence, or MEND, programme, but added that he would have to be assessed for suitability first.

In response, Judge Zaidan said that he would take this into account on the sentencing date.

The man was also recommended to undertake a Spousal Abuse Risk Assessment, also known as SARA.

"I have no doubt that this has had a huge impact on both the injured part and the man’s professional career," the judge said: "I cannot punish him just because of his job... I have to take each case on its own respective merits, but obviously, I will bare in mind the aggravating features (in this case)."

He continued: "My concern is, that he says he has a loving partner now, but when he met her (the injured party), he saw her as a loving partner too (and yet the abuse occurred later)."

Speaking directly to the man, Judge Zaidan said: "You need to address your demons, and admit what you have done is inexcusable, which to be fair, you have done."

He again repeated the woman’s comments about her concerns for the man’s son and other women to the man.

"I’ve used similar phrases in so many other domestic violence cases," he said.

The man once again said that he wished to apologise to his ex-partner, and added: "This has been hanging over the two of us for the past year."

The injured party was visibly upset in the courtroom as he said this, and in response to this, Judge Zaidan suggested that she could consult with the women and children's domestic violence service known as Teach Tearmainn.

Commenting further on the case, the judge said: "When it comes to sentencing, it’s not about revenge; I have to take everything into account.”

He added: "The (results of the) report will better-suit society than just me rushing into a judgement right now."

Judge Zaidan adjourned the case to a sentencing date in March of 2024 to allow time for a probation report and restorative justice.

If you have been affected by this article, you can find resources to help you by contacting Women's Aid at 1800 341 900 or emailing helpline@womensaid.ie, or Men's Aid by ringing 01 554 3811 or emailing hello@mensaid.ie.

Additionally, you can find resources to help you by emailing Samaritans Ireland at jo@samaritans.ie, or by ringing 116 123.