OPINION: A day spent at an election count is the longest of days

There are few things to be learned at a general election count.

Aside, that is, from the identity of the Dáil deputies elected to serve the citizenry of County Kildare.

One is that there is a limit to the amount of coffee and prepacked, premanufactured sandwiches you can consume, never mind the ultra-processed foods dressed up as confectionery that are also available.

Another is that there is a class of people out there who are  only ever visible when there is an election count on. The may show for an election campaign perhaps or an election launch, but the count really awakens them from their slumbers every four years or so for a contest to see who will represent us on Kildare County Council or in Dáil Éireann.

You do wonder how on earth they keep themselves entertained in the meantime.

The other is that there is no end to the tedium generated by the way we have of voting. It’s as if we like to be detained for long periods with nothing to do.

The introduction of electronic voting In Ireland was a bit of a disaster. These would have provided a fix to the current arrangement and they and are used in many countries without controversy.

Electronic voting machines were trialled in Ireland in 2002 but enough people simply did not trust the technology (an in fairness trust is everything) and we stayed voting the way we always have.

They were deployed on three constituencies, two in Dublin and in Meath, at that time. Former taoiseach Bertie Ahern was a supporter. 

In his Dublin accent he articulated a view that clearly meant that he had little time for “them oul pencils.”

If you’ve done a few shifts at mind-numbing counts you’ll find yourself nodding sagely in agreement with the Bert.

However, the machines did not go down well with the public and they were binned at great cost to you and me.

The counts conducted in both Kildare constituencies started at 9am on Saturday.

True we had the tally figures to keep us occupied and entertained. However accurate and all as these are, they are not official figures and are gathered by hardworking volunteers.

Nine hours later, at six o'clock there was some movement  and something approaching a ripple of excitement surfaced when Kildare County Council official Eoghan Ryan approached the public address system.

Imagine our disappointment when it transpired that he was only summoning party hacks and candidates to inspect doubtful votes. These are ballot papes that  have not been clearly marked by voters and only very rarely have an impact on the result. Soon afterwards the parish priest in Naas Fr Liam Morgan turned up. With God on our side perhaps things could be hurried along.

But the first count did not emerge until later that evening. 

The 8.30pm announcement  didn’t produce a TD because none of the runners had reached  the quota; but, long after darkness had enveloped Punchestown Racecourse outside,  there was a sense at least that we were emerging from a sort of compulsory hibernation.