10 things that happen when you 'go down home' to Kildare for the Bank Holiday weekend

The journey home from the 'Big Smoke' is a pilgrimage for us country bumpkins

Justin Kelly

Reporter:

Justin Kelly

Email:

justin.kelly@iconicnews.ie

10 things that happen when you 'go down home' to Kildare for the Bank Holiday weekend

10 things that happen when you 'go down home' to Kildare for the Bank Holiday weekend

You'll be accused of having notions...

Whether you're ordering soy milk coconut skinny lattes or talking about 'the guys' in Dublin as opposed to 'your friends,' you'll be tagged with a severe bang of notions, and rightly so!

Your mother will make 'a special dinner'...

It turns out to be a run of the mill dinner she has done for years but it's now 'special' because you've been away. 'You can't 'bate' mammy's dinners!'

You'll be told, 'It must be nice to be down home'...

It'll be as if you've served a life sentence in Guantanamo Bay when you're hit with a sympathetic glare from some aul wan 'down town.' You nod politely so as not to give the slightest suggestion that Dublin is better than home.

You'll be asked, 'do they have that up in Dublin'...

Yes, Dublin - our capital city - does indeed sell white pudding. You'll receive looks of derision for the sarcasm. 'I bet they don't have a tractor run every other weekend, though!'

You'll be roped into an almighty session...

Possibly the best thing about 'going down home' - a night out in the local for old times sake, the whole gang back together and all that. 

You'll be told about everything in the area that's changed since you left...

They'll ignore the fact that you were in fact home two weeks ago and that Mr Murphy getting a new window box for the shop is hardly a seismic shift. 'The hardware shop was painted too, I'd say you don't know the place.'

You'll be forced to go to mass...

This is solely so mammy can march you around bragging about your 'big job in Dublin.' 'Father, have you seen himself is back from Dublin?' If you don't go up for communion, you'll be excommunicated from the family. 

Your mother will cry...

When you're packing up the car to head off, mammy will be only overcome with emotion. 'I'm only going to Dublin, what would you be like if I was off to Australia.'

Your father will roll his eyes...

Far less fussed with your 40 mile trip 'up the road,' your aul lad just wants to get back in for the Sunday Game. He'll generally roll his eyes for the whole weekend as you talk about going out for coffee and cocktails and the like.

You'll get a bag of grub and clean washing to bring back...

The boot will be full with fresh sheets and six months worth of leftover 'special dinner.' 'Sure, they probably don't have proper sausages in Dublin.' Don't correct them, just take the loot and run!