KILDARE COLUMN: Life lessons to be learned from Gaybo’s legacy

The greatest broadcaster of them all has died, but oh, what a legacy Gay Byrne has left.

He opened the doors and blew the cobwebs off many of the nation’s secrets. You can roll out a list of these topics where debate in Irish society was hidden behind more than one squinting window; these included single mothers homosexuality, clerical celibacy, pornography, prostitution, adoption, punishment beatings, political hubris, etc.

Uncomfortable conversations

To me Gay Byrne, the consummate professional, created at times a space for uncomfortable conversations. At times we all need to have uncomfortable conversations, but too often we avoid and shrink away from them.

Society cannot survive like that: openness is the key and a healthy legacy is the outcome.

If you have been holding back from uncomfortable conversations, I would ask what are you afraid of. Are you not past that? It’s time hold it in no more, to talk, to open up, to create new spaces and new understandings.

Teacher

A life well lived with brilliance is one thing. But, by all accounts, with Gay what you saw is what you got. He was real — not a modern day influencer, but a teacher who lead many through the soundtrack of their lives, and where their university was the Gay Byrne hour and The Late Late Show.

Sense Of Purpose

Such moments in national consciousness create upset, loss and reflective periods — indeed some will cause us to reflect on ageing, mortality, and the challenge of holding onto a sense of purpose. This sense of purpose and meaning was explored often by Gaybo, for both regular people and for famous people in his interview series.

What is your sense of purpose? Do you approach things with a negative feeling? Do you say:

• “I’m too old to try something new.”

• “I can’t quit my job and find another one I would enjoy more because I need to put a roof over my family’s head and food on the table.”

• “I don’t have the energy.”

• “My husband/wife would freak out if I actually followed my passion and made a change.”

• “What would people think of me?”

• “I don’t even have a clue how to change or what I would change into!”

Let’s ditch this and promote positivity and drive

Shake it up – Take a Plunge

Here’s an image. Imagine a road on your left-hand side and one on the right. The one on the left is full of trouble and strife. The road on the right is full of promise and hope. Take the plunge and re-find your life purpose. Ask yourself these powerful questions.

• Are you where you want to be?

• Have you accomplished all you thought you would by now?

• Could your relationships be deeper, more rewarding, and more meaningful?

• Are you having / enjoying your playtime?

Finding meaning and creating a legacy

1. Explore the Things You Love To Do

We are all born with a deep and meaningful purpose that we have to discover. Your purpose is not something you need to make up; it’s already there. You may ask yourself, “What is my purpose in life?”.

You can begin to discover your passion or your purpose by exploring two things: What do you love to do? What comes easily to you?

Work is required, but suffering is not. If you are struggling and suffering, you are probably not living on purpose.

2. Focus On Your Life Purpose

Think about your life the legacy you want to leave. How are your relationships going? How is your health? And so on…

Once you are clear about what you want and keep your mind constantly focused on it, the how will keep showing up — sometimes just when you need it and not a moment earlier.

Gay Byrne’s skill was communication but his craft was the ability to talk and ask questions, his wisdom was his listening.

Wisdom is underrated. I believe he found what he loved to do an continued to do it right up to the RTE Lyric Radio days with his Sunday show.

His legacy is secured. In life, some people’s legacies are public. Others are discreet, powerful and enduring.

That’s you.

Thank you, Gay Byrne.

Dr Eddie Murphy runs a psychological and counselling service in Portarlington, Co Laois. If you are organising a speaker or training for school, community, voluntary, sporting or work groups, call Dr Eddie on 087 1302899 or go to www.facebook.com/ dr.eddie.murphy.psychologist