Kildare mum, Ruth Chambers recalls "The day granny and Sarah shopped... for pound shop lube"

It's just a phase

Ruth Chambers

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Ruth Chambers

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ruth@itsjustaphase.ie

Kildare mum, Ruth Chambers recalls "The day granny and Sarah shopped... for pound shop lube"

Granny and Sarah

No, you haven’t read the headline to this story wrong! You’d be forgiven for thinking you did though!

So myself, my mother, who hobbles around on a crutch, and the two kids, decided to pop in to Navan Shopping Centre for a look around last week.

I left my wallet in the multi-story car park, so myself and Aidan went to the car to get it.

It was at that point that Granny announced she was taking two year old Sarah to Dealz to pick up a few bits, including kid’s toothpaste.

I thought no more about it and headed off to the car.

On my return Granny and Sarah were in Dealz so myself and Aidan waited outside.

There’s a few of those children’s rides that you put money in directly in front of the shop so they kept Aidan busy.

Out the other pair come from Dealz.

“What did you get?” says I to Sarah.

“Toothpaste,” she excitedly exclaimed, and she handed me the tube.

Well, I nearly fell out of my standing and I started to roar laughing.

It turns out it wasn’t toothpaste, granny, had in fact bought the two-year-old a tube of lube called Nooky!

Yes, it happened — granny actually bought the two-year-old a tube of lube! Can you believe it?

Granny could not understand why I was laughing so hard.

It was at that point I informed her as to what exactly she had bought her granddaughter!

“What’s lube?” she asks, quite loudly outside the shop.

Mortified, I shoved the tube into the bag and dragged the three of them back to the car.

It turns out that granny had forgotten to bring her glasses in to town!

It also turns out that Sarah carried the lube to the cash desk and handed it over to the cashier!

What must he or she have thought?

Did she consider ringing social services? I know I would have seriously considered it!

Do you not have to be over 18 to buy this stuff? Or is it acceptable to buy it if your granny is with you?!

And wasn’t granny quick off the mark too?

That new range of adult — I stress adult — stuff was only introduced by Dealz a few weeks ago!

Maybe she’s not telling me something. She’s widowed seven years now; has she a new man and was too embarrassed to buy the lube herself and then she played dumb when she was caught?!

I doubt it somehow, I really do.

She’s a 68-year-old lady, a country woman who once told me to buy something for her on Baywatch! She meant Ebay, in case you’re wondering!

I wouldn’t exactly call her sheltered but she’s sheltered enough not to know what lube is.

Having to explain that one to her in the car on the way home wasn’t exactly a conversation I thought I’d ever have with her.

Maybe she read the old blog post of mine, the one where I compare romance before kids and romance after, and was trying to tell me something.

So there you have it! Granny bought the two-year-old lube.

Sure what else would she be doing of a Thursday?

It was quite the eventful day for us all and one that will surely be re-called for years on Sarah’s big birthdays! She'll be mortified about it for many years to come, no doubt!

You can contact Ruth at ruth@itsjustaphase.ie; Twitter - @_itsjustaphase, Instagram - @itsjustaphaseblog, or log on to www.itsjustaphase.ie